Monday, September 12, 2016

Stop and Regroup

We are at the required Fall Theological Conference this week.  Which is never my favorite thing.   Never have been a lover of theology, I prefer to have hands on stuff I can take home.  

But this year has been different for me.   Different because I came more tired, more confused, more lost then I've been before, but also different because I am so tired that I am to a point of doing what I need to do instead of what is required.  

I've discovered that this summer of two jobs has left me struggling.   Struggling to find rest, struggling to find the joy of ministry again, struggling with who I am and what I need.

And I have been caught in this trap of doing everything I can and feeling like it is never good enough.  Never all it is supposed to be. 

So today?  I just stopped.  Partially because my body made me.  But also partially because I just needed to be able to push back and say enough is enough. I needed to be able to say I'm tired, I'm broken, and I just need time for me.  

I realize what is broken can't be fixed in a few hours.  If I am being honest, what is broken can't be fixed in a few days either, but I am working on it. I am willing to say now that I am not okay and need some space to breathe.  I am willing to say this current way of doing things isn't working.   I am willing to step out in faith and hope that I still have this courage tomorrow to keep standing up for myself. 

A friend tonight said that I am doing good ministry and it almost made me fall completely apart.  I never feel like it is good or like it is enough.  But it is what I can do.  Today its enough. 

Tomorrow God's mercies are new again. Thanks be to God. 

Goodnight, sweet dreams, and may you know you loved beyond measure,
Preaching Kate



Wednesday, April 3, 2013

All Things in God's Timing

I never fail to be amazed, dear blog readers, at how God works in the strangest of ways.  

Tonight, I was admittedly a bit frustrated because a meeting got cancelled...but I was still at church, and someone walked in, and I ended up spending a couple hours talking to them.  And it was good conversation, and has me walking away, remembering again just how blessed I am to be in this call.  And just how amazed I am to have some of these amazing men and women of God in this place.

I hope and pray that God will continue to work through me here.  And that I will learn to continue to leave myself open not to my timing of things, but His.

So that's the question for the evening friends, when and where have you seen God's perfect timing lately?

Peace to you this silent night,
Preaching Kate

Friday, March 29, 2013

A truly GOOD Friday

I am sitting at the church tonight, as the darkness falls around me, and I can't help but wonder at this past year.  At the deaths and resurrections that have been a part of my life.  Of the endings and beginnings that had to happen in order for me to be where I am today.  

And even though our numbers at worship tonight were low, and I have bronchitis, and don't physically feel the best, I am just so incredibly thankful tonight.

I am thankful to be in a congregation that is supportive and loving.  I am thankful to be surrounded by people who have deep faith that I really admire.  I am blessed to given volunteers who still love to spend time in the scripture and share the story of God's amazing love with others.

Tonight we heard the stories of the characters that were "beneath the cross" on the day that Jesus died. How their lives were changed because of being in that moment.  And I sat there and thought...how my life has changed by being in this one.  

I wouldn't be here, without a God who continually loves me and pushes me to share His love with others.  I wouldn't be here without having to have gone through my previous call that challenged me more than I could possibly imagine.  I have come through that call, and now sit on the other side, and look back and wonder...

God was so good...so supportive...so loving...so understanding.  And I was so exhausted that I couldn't even see Him.  And here?  In this call?  Where I have been really intentional about setting boundaries and doing true self care?  I see Him all over.  

And I can't help but wonder how to teach this hard lesson that I had to learn to my parishioners.  Because not many of them were here tonight.  They are filling their lives with busyness...and I get it.  I've been there.  But I also know what it means now to slow down and let God handle it.  And I hope, that I can share those hard lessons in this place.  I hope that I can teach and lead through my example that taking Sabbath time isn't a luxury,but a necessity.  That slowing down and admitting we can't do it all just says "God, you handle it today.  You handle it all the time anyway. "  

I pray that this place continues to be one of peace and rest and renewal for me and for all who enter these doors.  I pray that this can be a place where people come to fill their cup and go back out into the world to share about God and His love for ALL people.

And I pray, that next year on Good Friday, I will look back on this one, and feel the exact same way I do today.  Thankful for Jesus...for his dying on the cross to set me free...free to live, and free to love.  God is good my friends.  On Good Friday and every day.

Keep shining for Him,
Preaching Kate <><

Friday, February 15, 2013


I thought I would start a blog as a way to continue my ministry journey.  I am coming from a large suburban congregation, with many staff and long hours, and transitioning (or trying to!) back into rural ministry with a different pace and different priorities.

Here's what I've observed so far...

Slower pace can be hard!  There is more time for thoughts that go astray.  More time for self-doubt and worrying that I won't be enough, am not doing enough.

Slower pace can be wonderful.  When I have time to take care of myself, and time to breathe and be, I am a better leader, a better pastor, a better person in general.

Being involved in the community is awesome!  I love seeing the smile on people's faces when I show up to community events, and when I show that I care for what they are doing.

Being involved in a community is hard!  To integrate in a community where everyone has known each other from day one is a challenge.  I wish I were more a part of the life here...and hope that it will come in time.

Being patient with others is easy...when they are new, and I am just getting to know them.

Being patient with myself is HARD...when I feel like I should be doing more, being more, etc.

So blogger friends, how do I make this transition?  How do I not feel like a failure for taking time to breathe?  How do I get rid of the guilt that comes from trying to transition from a job that needed every fiber of my being to a healthier job that requires a normal amount of time and energy?

Any suggestions?

Thanks for listening!
Preaching Kate